Know Your Value

Peggy Carter is kind of who I want to be when I grow up.  I have a bookmark of her tacked to my wall, with the quote “I know my value” across the bottom.  Even when nearly everyone around her professionally treated her like a less person, she did not give up on herself.

I am not sure if I was born a competitive person, or if it was later ingrained into my brain. To an extent, the determination and drive that comes with a competitive personality can be a good thing.  There are certainly times that I have achieved more because of my need to feel competitive.

The problem is when you make a lot of things a competition, you don’t always win.  Failure stings a bit harder.  You tend to want to give up if you don’t do your best and beyond, every time you try.  Or if someone just happens to do better than you did.

The problem with this kind of attitude, it’s  a losing game, no matter how many times you think you’ve ‘won.’

In this life, there should really only be one person you are competing against. Yourself.

This is a concept I am definitely still working on.  There are times I have to remember that as long as I did better than past-me did, strived a little harder, did a little more, that I’m winning.

There are also ways to take the competitive nature out of a competition.  In her book “Yes, Please!” Amy Poehler talks about the “Pudding” and how we all want it.  For her, the “pudding” was an Emmy award.  So Amy made a game of it, to take the sting out of not getting that yummy, delicious pudding.  She got all the women who were nominated in her category to do bits and make funny jokes.  She saw them as her friends and teammates, instead of her competitors.

I think this is a great attitude to have, to see those around us as our teammates, rather than adversaries.  If your friend gets their book published?  Cheer them on.  Gets a raise at a job they love?  Be excited for them.  By recognizing the worth in others, rather than tearing them down in a misguided attempt to make yourself feel better, you’ll find that it is a lot easier to recognize your own worth as well.

You have value.  When that little green monster climbs into your brain and tries to compare you to someone else, try to drown out that little voice by saying “They’re doing great!  I’m working hard too.  I’m going to reach my goals too.”  

 

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A Geeky Guide to Leveling Up

In a video game, when you gain enough experience points and you’ve fought enough monsters, you level up.  Leveling up generally means that two things happen: First, you get access to better equipment and new quests, and second, the quests also have leveled up and you face a new level difficulty.  So how do you level up your real life?  How does it feel once you’ve leveled up?  What do you do once you’ve leveled up?

Start from the bottom and break down big goals.

You may wander into a few caves where there are level 70 trolls and you’re still rocking your level 5 daggers, metaphorically, of course.

In normal person speak:  You may have big goals you’re trying to achieve or big obstacles to overcome.  Rather than running full tilt at these things, sometimes it’s best to break what you are doing down into smaller, more achievable goals.

If you want to write a movie and get it made, but have never written a script before, setting a 3-month deadline for that goal is likely to lead to some heartache.  That’s making your goal int a level 70 troll, and you’re not ready to fight that troll.

Instead, you might want to take a screenwriting class, or read books on screenwriting.  Maybe your 3-month goal is to take a class and have a rough draft of your script, by that point.  That’s more like a level 10 troll, and something you can definitely manage.

Leveling up takes work.

In lots of games, there are ways to grind and gain levels quickly.  The problem is, if you don’t put the work in, you miss valuable lessons and content along the way.

Most of the people you admire scraped and hustled when they started out.  Lots of writers worked a full-time job while writing their first novels, comics, etc.  There might be a few that got lucky and somehow got the maximum payoff for minimal effort, but those people are usually few and far between and they often had someone helping them along the way.

There are times that putting in the maximum effort will be frustrating and disheartening, but we don’t get anywhere by standing still.  Keeping going.  If you work strategy isn’t working and you’re not making progress, step back and re-assess.

How do you know when you’ve leveled up?  Things get harder.  But they also get easier.

You know you’ve leveled up with the difficulty of things kicks up a notch, but you also find yourself able to rise to the occasion.  You’ve worked hard to gain new skills and insight, and though the new challenges are unfamiliar or unventured, you still have a bit of inspiration to go after them.

I won’t lie, there are times “gaining a new level” fills me with worry and anxiety.  I wonder if I am able to face the new challenges in my life and still manage my time.  You can use that fear as fuel, take it as a dare to dream bigger and do more than you did before.  In many ways, our biggest limits are in our head.

Geek Girl Bucket List

I’ve never actually written a bucket list before.  I’ve said things were on my bucket list, like going to Star Wars Weekends at Disney World, but that happened more out of coincidence than actual planning.  So I decided to make a list and document it here.  I call it a “Geek Girl” bucket list because a lot of the things I want to do in my life have a geeky thread running through them.

  • Write and publish a comic book.
  • Write for Marvel and DC.
  • Go to Disneyland during their Halloween festivities
  • Write a comic that is published through Image.
  • Start a writer’s group.
  • Visit Harry Potter World
  • Visit Sweden.
  • Learn Swedish and speak it fluently.
  • Go to a TED Talk.
  • Give a TED Talk.
  • Record and produce my own geeky podcast.
  • Participate in a Zombie Run or walk.
  • Learn how to code websites.
  • Have a child and take said child to comic con.
  • Dress that child in an amazing, handmade costume.
  • Start a Youtube Channel.
  • Teach a workshop about writing comics.

It’s not a long list, but I figure it is one I can add to as I go along.  What is on your geek bucket list? Or just your bucket list in general. I would love to know!